And today the winner is… frustration

Today was a nicely mixed bag of awesome with a huge dollop of “this is life and sometimes it sucks” thrown in for good measure.

I received the novelisation of The Last Jedi today which of course, was great. But then work stuff managed to do what it (sometimes) does and my good vibes quickly dissipated. I somehow managed to get insulted, annoyed, belittled and frustrated in one single comment from my boss. To put things into perspective, my boss is not a bad person. He is actually quite likable. The thing is I know what my limitations are in my job. Having your boss point those limitations out to you in front of other people, in front of peers, is really quite disheartening. I dunno how I managed to stay composed. I mean sure, this is not the end of the world, but at the time, it felt pretty crappy.

The part of me that just wanted to run and hide was dominant for all of about three minutes. The other part of my personality that felt like giving him and anyone else who doubted me the middle finger is still here and she’s really kinda pissed.

At this juncture, what I do with this feeling I realise is entirely up to me. It’s nobody else’s fault if I don’t improve. Choosing not to improve is therefore a choice I can either live with or do something about. I shouldn’t let things like this get to me if I am the one who is doing nothing to grow beyond my own limitations. But still, I really don’t like being made to feel so small.

This situation reminds me of a line from The Matrix (one of my favourite films) where Neo (the film’s protagonist played by Keanu Reeves) is saying that anything is possible and the only person that needs to make the decision to change how things are is you.