Changes are afoot…

Forgive me dear readers (if any of you still read this, of course). I have been a very poor blogger of late (well, for the last 4 months) and whilst I’d like to list off a multitude of excuses why (some of them legit, I assure you), I just won’t. Suffice to say, change has made its way forcefully into my life once again and just how do I react to this change? Like a seasoned veteran, standing in the way of adversity with my head held high ready for whatever life may bring? Oh, noooooo haha not at all. Instead, I react like a newborn babe discovering that I can scream really really loudly if I do a certain thing with my throat and my mouth and my voice box.

If I could scream loudly, I would but my voice has never properly recovered from a very bad case of the flu I had a month or so back and well, yeah, that would suck so I won’t. Instead I take to the computer, turn it on, look over WordPress in one of the many tabs I have open in my browser and I cry my heart out in words. And sorry to say this but I think I’ll be doing this a lot more often.

So I’m not going to use this blog just for Star Wars. I am going to use this blog for anything I want or feel like saying, just like I am now. I don’t know why I was afraid to do that before. I guess I wanted to attract readers so badly, I was willing to silence that part of myself that desperately needed to be heard, even if I am only writing this for myself. I ask you, is that not what matters most?

I think so. In fact, I’m already feeling better just writing this little, wee bit of crap on my blog in the stratoshpere of “nobody really gives a damn” otherwise known as the internet. And somehow, I still feel better than I would have had I not blogged today.

So maybe tomorrow I’ll find out if I still have a day job… oh yeah, that is one of the things on my mind lately. Also, my mother who is disabled had a really bad fall this week and I was so worried about losing my job that I didn’t spend the day looking after her and dragged my ass to work instead. And now, I feel like the most horrible person on earth for doing that. BECAUSE IT’S NOT IMPORTANT. A job is just a job, family are family – family are all that matters and I acted like an idiot. And now I feel pretty bad again so I’m just going to like, stop now.