The Journey Forward Begins With The Journey Inward

Clemens Van Lay Unsplash
Photo by Clemens van Lay on Unsplash

I’ve done a lot of different things in my working life, none of which I’d want to revisit again. That is, except for writing. Over the last year or so, the dream I had of becoming a Cyber Security Specialist no longer had any meaning for me. I had fallen “out of love” with the entire concept. Some of my long-time readers will know what I’m referring to. But to cut a long story short; I want out.

I now know something has to change. I have to change. I no longer had a passion in my heart to succeed in my current career. I no longer cared about the industry as a whole. I stopped reading and educating myself. I’ve started to dislike myself as a result. I have noticed that I am a lot grumpier than usual, irritated a lot more and it’s beginning to wear thin.

The frustration is seeping into almost every part of me. At times I want to march on into my place of work and throw my resignation letter on my bosses desk. There is an overwhelming urge to do this that comes to the fore every now and then. But I know I can’t do this. I promised myself I would never leave a job again without a job to go to. I also don’t want to put unwanted stress on my partner. This is important to me and is non-negotiable.

https://gfycat.com/breakabledirtyhoneybadger
GFYCAT Source

To move forward, I’ve started researching working from home. I’ve also started two courses to try and both educate and re-educate myself. The freelancing world has changed a lot since I was doing it. I now need to get the relevant knowledge and skills required to succeed in this market. This means relearning a lot and putting other passions and less-important goals aside.

I wanted a space to document this journey, and I’ve decided to do it here. My other blog is not suited for personal anecdotes. Having a separate blog for my thoughts is beneficial for me. It is a constant reminder of what I need to do to reach my goal and reinvent myself and to become self-fulfilled once more.

I hope you’ll join me on my journey. I’ll be blogging about as much of it as I can; the good, the not-so-good and the in-between.

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