Life on the Darkside

You may have noticed that I don’t use this blog for a lot of personal posts. I have had personal posts in the past, but I feel strange uploading personal posts to this blog. I actually have a journal which is something that I’ve wanted to write about for the last few weeks.

During the Pandemic lockdown, I’ve become a lot more aware and a lot more creative. I have thrown myself into my art and writing. And as a result, I decided to make some changes to the way I do things, including Star Wars content. That change was to a) create something, every single day – that can be a blog post, something in Photoshop or Adobe software, a poem, or at the very least, a journal entry. I tried to do this many times before and failed. Miserably. But this time, I feel determined to succeed.

YOUCANDOITDESIGNTUTSPLUS

 

I don’t know about you, but I have become addicted to stats. Apparently, this is precisely what the social media giants want you to do – to “want” more readers, to want more followers, to just want more and more until it’s the only thing you care about. Well, they succeeded with me, to a point. I’ve talked about stats in the past, mostly Pinterest, because that is where I think I’ve had social media “success”. I say success in quotation marks because it’s so subjective. Whatever you want success to be is measured only by what you don’t have. And that’s different for every single person on the planet.

And I’ve come to realise just how empty that is. The only thing that should matter is whether or not I am creating and learning and growing, not how many followers I get every day. If they don’t appreciate what I do, what is the point, right? If I don’t value myself, what is the point…

Yoda on Failure

I went to Medium for a bit too, to test the waters. I had success in my first post which was curated by the Medium editors (it’s a big thing on Medium, but not anywhere else) and that made me feel good about myself. But at the end of the day, your writing needs to mean something to your audience. I learned that very fast and made excuses to myself about why I couldn’t succeed.

But that experience was vital because I began to miss this blog a whole lot. When I had time to think about it, I realised what I was throwing away. I was throwing away a part of myself and a community of amazing people. I’ve never felt attached to a blog before. But I really care about this blog and what it represents. And in my heart of hearts, this is really the only space online I genuinely care about. I’ve met some wonderful people through this blog. And more than ever before, it feels like the closest thing to home that I have online.

Feelings GIF

I also started a daily journal the first day we went into lockdown. It started out as just a lockdown journal where I would write about the experience itself. But it turned into a proper diary, and now I write what I feel and think there every day. Which is why I don’t write as much here. But I think that’s a good thing. I feel way more comfortable writing for no one than writing for the world.

Thank you for reading. I value your time and your comments. Should you have any to share with me, I’d appreciate it.

N.B.

I created a blog banner for any posts that deviate away from the regular posts on this blog about photoshop, adobe, art and life in general. That way you can choose to avoid these posts if you’re only here for the art or the star wars. These posts will always be tagged “personal”, and the banner is “Life on the Darkside”.

 

4 thoughts on “Life on the Darkside

  1. I love how you look at success… It’s how I do too. I used to have way more views about 5 years ago when I blogged consistently so I felt like my blog was more “popular”. But now I have way more comments and interesting discussions in the comments which is a lot more gratifying.

    I have kind of given up this blog many times over the past 2 years but I keep coming back to it too! I really like the community and people I’ve “met”. So now I’m a lot less harsh on myself. I blog when I feel the urge, and don’t when there’s nothing I’m inspired by.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you 🙂 and yes, that’s exactly what I mean, you nailed it 🙂 I guess, as, with everything in life, you get to the point where you’re just like “I can’t be bothered blogging today” and you just don’t. And you might feel guilty for it for a little while but you’ll adjust. I think what’s important is to nurture what you have. It took me a while to get to that understanding. But I wouldn’t change a thing because if I did, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I feel happier about everything right now and that’s mostly because of this blog. It has given me a sense of purpose and has introduced me to some really nice people like yourself 🙂 That is worth its weight in gold in my opinion 😀

      Like

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