Personal Update

It seems I am going through some stuff this week – nothing too serious, just a huge case of Imposter Syndrome and letting myself down quite a lot. Can’t really explain it well but if you know what imposter syndrome is, you will understand where I am at right now. This is all to do with my writing specifically as some of you know I am doing NANOWRIMO this year – or at least attempting to complete it.

But I’m in a bit of a rut I suppose you can call it, feeling quite down at the moment, don’t really feel “star warsy” today. Hoping I will feel better tomorrow but I need some time.

Thank you to anyone that has supported me during this time, you are all wonderful and my thanks barely scrapes the surface of how much gratitude I have for you all.

Til tomorrow or whenever I get back to it 🙂

14 thoughts on “Personal Update

  1. From this side of the page your still a writer that has a passion, nothings changed. I often don’t recognize myself in the mirror or wonder why am I even here. It can last days. Once I come to terms with the fact I have no real purpose in life, I then normally think, well as I’m here existing I may as well enjoy it. If you can’t live up to your expectations move the target.
    A long time ago in a galaxy far far away — that’s another story 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “Move the target” thanks Neil 🙂 I do feel better after a good night’s sleep too but you’re right of course. Perhaps my targets are always too high which is why I never feel like I achieve anything lol Thanks for the kind words 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Julie, I know exactly how you’re feeling. I’ve been in that place too many times to count. And I think that’s why I took time off from writing fiction. Not just a week or a month, but a whole year, lol. It’s hard being a writer. And it just wasn’t fun anymore. And really, Nanowrimo tests your commitment in a big way. You have to face this huge wall of your resistance, your fears and doubts. It’s tough. But try to remember that even if you don’t reach your goal of 50K words, you’re not a failure. Whatever you get done, you get done. And it’s a place to work from. It’s more than so many other people accomplish. Anyway, I hope this helps a little bit. Hang in there, and if you need to vent to someone, I’m your gal!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Tina 🙂 Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I have struggeld with self-esteem and shyness all of my life. Even as an adult, I’ve never had much faith in myself. Some days I feel good about what I achieve but most days I am just ready to give in because I am too afraid to try harder in case I fail. So I think it’s something I grew up with and seems to creep on me every now and then when I don’t need it too. But thank you for offering, I might just have to take you up on that 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Anytime. I grew up shy and reserved myself, so I know what it’s like. It’s why we choose to write, most of the time! I don’t know if you’re interested in self-help books (I know I never was) but my husband got me into the Bad Ass books by Jen Sincero. I love them, and they’ve really helped me in certain areas of my life. And she’s hilarious. I highly recommend them.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah I think it all depends on the type of stories you want to write as well – a lot of the bigger accounts there seem to focus on fanfiction which I don’t really do. Not sure I could even find an audience there to be honest, none of what I write really fits into the majority of the genres they have

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Julie, indeed Tina speaks wisely…even if you don’t reach 50k of words nothing is a waste or failure. You will learn from your experience. But another piece of advice I would add is don’t discard the 49k of words as a failure – keep a copy as something to return to at a later date to finish or use as inspiration for a new work. As a lightsaber designer I have a folder full of files for part built models of sabers that I haven’t finished because I got distracted by something else new and shiny or I lost interest because the model didn’t flow. But these unfinished parts become building blocks/inspiration for future builds.

    Believe me, I sometimes think I am no good at what I do and am wasting my time but really I know deep down I’m the best lightsaber designer I know (but Jedi Masters have to be humble you know 😀 ) Keep up the writing!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks FT 🙂 I know I am being silly lol but I don’t ever destroy what I create even if it is a half-way done story or poem or whatever. I am very good in that respect because I know I will come back and revisit it. The only reason I am even doing NANOWRIMO right now is because of a short story I wrote years ago that I finally published on my blog. If it wasn’t for that story, I wouldn’t be achieving anything or even taking part in NANOWRIMO this year so I totally understand what you mean by saving unfinished works. Thanks for the kind words – I am hoping to get back to it today 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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