I’m just trying to come to grips with how things work on Wattpad. I’ve never used Wattpad before so I’m trying to familiarise myself with the site before I go throwing my words around the Wattpad community. Continue reading → Wattpad 101 – How long should a chapter be?
I have decided to join Wattpad. I spent some time this evening setting it all up, delaying the inevitable event which is to actually write something. I don’t know what I am so afraid of. I wish I wasn’t like this. Being this way has held me back from so many missed opportunities in my life, but I can’t change how I feel about my writing. I am genuinely afraid to share my writing and I just don’t know why. I have felt this way all my life. So I thought that I would start where it all began, with my very first star wars fanfic. I originally put it on hold because I lost the inspiration to continue the story. But after reading some stories on Wattpad, I feel the spark in me reigniting once more, the need and the hunger I’ve always had to write is returning in a big way. Continue reading → My Writing Journey – my Star Wars fanfic may be off hold… maybe…
It was time. There was no way that I was going to be late so I kept all other thoughts out of my head and focused. I didn’t want to talk myself out of this – this was going to happen! I walked towards the elevator and pressed the button to go up. I watched as the lights lit up, floor by floor. I never realised how big the Finalizer was until now. The very top floor was allocated to General Hux. Before I could access it, I had to use the intercom so that the guards could see who I was. My hand was shaking as I pressed the button.
“Yes?” an unknown male voice crackled through the speaker
I cleared my throat. “It’s… I mean, uh…”
“Identify yourself, now!” the voice interrupted
“Cadet XN2903 requesting permission for access”
“Fine. Step out so we can see you Cadet”
I looked up. A security camera was pointed down towards me. I did as the guard requested and stood directly under it. A few moments passed. I waited patiently for a reply.
“Access granted, you can open the doors”
I pressed the button and as the doors slowly opened, my stomach felt queasy. I had to steady myself for a moment. I stepped out of the elevator and the doors shut quickly behind me. I looked around but there was nothing to see but cold, dark, metal painted the same colour as everything else on the Finalizer.
I heard movement coming from further down the corridor. Two heavily armed special forces guards turned the corner and walked directly towards me.
“We’re your escort, Cadet. Let’s go”
Flanking me on either side, the guards walked in unison with me down the long corridor. We finally came to another heavily guarded door. One of the guards nodded and opened the door for me.
“It isn’t wise to keep General Hux waiting” one of the guards mumbled, pushing me inside.
I peered around the corner and could see a faint light coming from a room down the end of the hallway. I walked towards it, holding my hands together to stop them from shaking.
Journal Entry 08
General Hux has asked to see me tonight… but why?
One thing is clear – he somehow has access to my personal journal and he has read at least one entry in it. It would be safe to assume he’s read everything.
So he knows what I’ve been thinking, he knows what I’ve been hiding. What am I going to do??!!
… think Teisya, think!
I’m pacing the room right now. I need to get a grip. I need to focus.
So it seems there are two ways around this; I could either do my best to try and seduce him and therefore make him feel like he has control, or…
I could kill him and remove the obstacle.
With a week to go before final assessments, I’ve been concentrating as much as possible on being the top cadet. But I’ve been distracted so much lately, I just can’t focus without thinking of General Hux.
I’ve seen him a few times since we talked after training that day, and every time I see him, he seems to stare just a little too long. I’m usually forced to look away and pretend I didn’t see him. I can’t tell if it’s sexy or kinda creepy. If it wasn’t for that chiselled perfection he calls a face, I’d be thinking of how to end his life right about now.
Weeks had passed since the induction speech. It seemed like the recruit number was dwindling every day. Some cadets couldn’t handle the intensive and often brutal training sessions we were subjected to. Others just disappeared never to be heard from again. No one asked questions.
We had just finished a training session and a group of us were exiting the training facility. I was preoccupied with my injuries and feeling a little fragile.
“Cadet… XN-2903 isn’t it?”
The voice sounded familiar. Uh no… not him!
I turned to face him. General Hux was standing there, staring right at me, waiting for me to reply.
A few of the other cadets stopped and stared at us. Others whispered and grinned as they walked past.
“General!” someone saluted
Journal Entry 07
The training on board the Finalizer is brutal and exhausting. But I like seeing the bruises on my body. Bruises mean progress and that’s why I’m here.
I saw General Hux talking to one of his crew the other day. I tried not to stare but it’s so difficult not to. I’ve heard other cadets talking about him like he’s some sort of poster boy for the First Order. I think that’s ridiculous. When I look at him I see a man who understands his destiny, a man who will die for the cause, a man who gives his all to The First Order.
Even though the thought had crossed my mind, ultimately I believe there would never be room in his life for anyone.
Hux belongs to the First Order.
We were gathered in an auditorium, much larger than any room at the Academy. The acoustics were amazing, every sound made an echo. The decor of the room was extremely dark; everything was clean and shiny. Even our new uniforms matched the decor. I took a brief look around the room and was relieved to see that I was not the only one who felt nervous.
I tried to focus – nervousness was not a good look for a member of the First Order. And that’s who I was now. I bit my lip and straightened my back into a more rigid stance. I looked directly forward, trying not to let my eyes wander.
A few moments later, one of the Lieutenants took the floor, clearing his throat before he spoke.
“Cadets. You are the first wave of recruits to be sent here. This means that you will be expected to pave the way for those who dream of a life within the First Order’s ranks. You are the Order’s future – you will become part of a legacy that has forged its way across the Outer Rim to become the most powerful legion in the galaxy. The First Order welcomes you!”
Everyone started to cheer. Some cadets even raised their fisted hands in applause. I stood there motionless, not really knowing what to do.
The Lieutenant finally took his leave and disappeared at the other end of the stage.
Some of the cadets started to whisper amongst themselves when Hux walked up to the podium.
The room fell silent. His eyes scanned the crowd before him. Even from where I stood, I could see the striking blue of his eyes. When his eyes found me in the crowd, he stared for just a moment longer than he should have.
I was too enraptured to look away.
He slowly moved his head to acknowledge the cadets in the back of the room.
“Some of you may not know me, I am General Hux”
A few of the cadets sighed in awe as they realised who was standing before them. Only one of the most celebrated men in the First Order!
“Do not doubt, for even a moment, that what my Lieutenant said earlier is true. You are the future. Look around you, what do you see? A fellow cadet perhaps or a brother or sister in arms? No! You embody much much more than that.”
“You will succeed where others have failed. You will succeed because you must succeed”
“Our path ahead will not be easy. We have one solitary goal and that is to crush our opposition so we can bring control to the chaos. Our goal is to eliminate that which threatens our very way of life. And we WILL not fail!”
“You are a weapon, my young cadets. You are the weapon that will destroy all who oppose us. You are the weapon that will forge a new Galaxy, a galaxy where order will be restored!”
“And yes, some of you may fall, but never doubt what you give your life for, what you bleed for”…
The crowd was cheering so loudly, I almost forgot where I was.
General Hux had an expression on his face that I would never forget. His eyes looked a little watery, but I doubt Hux knew how to cry. The cheering of the crowd seemed to stir something within him. It was evident that this man would live and die for the cause and there would be nothing anyone could do to stop him.
He moved his eyes to the front of the crowd once more but this time, I avoided his gaze.