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My first EVER post on this blog

I got this idea from one of my readers and thought it would be a neat thing to do. It has been a few years now and going through my past posts is like looking through a photo-diary of my life! It’s kinda strange and cool at the same time. To look at all the different things you blogged about, how your blogging changed as you did, how your blog died when you stopped loving it – it’s all there, warts and all.

My very first post was a diary entry for my fanfic (now on semi-permanent hiatus), so if it reads like a diary entry to you, that’s a good thing:

Journal Entry 01

The thought of leaving the Academy is both frightening and exhilarating. All the hard work and sacrifice will finally be rewarded. It feels as though I’ve been training for this my whole life and to fail now would be simply unacceptable.

Lately, I’ve been thinking much darker thoughts. The training has taught me how to control and manipulate these thoughts but there are moments when I feel like falling into the abyss and letting go, never to surface again.

I think my mentor would be proud.

It’s so weird to read it now and to think that I wanted this blog solely for my fanfic at the time. This blog has become so much more than I ever imagined it could, a place for my doubts, fears, obsessions, loves and hates, and most importantly, a home for my creative soul.

As much as I want to revisit my fanfic and my character XN2903, the thirst and hunger I had then to write have diminished and evolved into something else. Now my passion lies elsewhere. I feel like I have indeed come full circle as a writer and creative person since then. Even though I haven’t made huge leaps and bounds in any particular area, I’ve let my creativity change and evolve, which I think is almost as crucial as finishing what you start. Sometimes, you can’t finish things, you just can’t. And I think you have to give yourself a pat on the back every now and then for understanding when something has creatively run its course. I think it’s OK to stop and step back and wait for creativity to find you again. I believe this is the entire reason why I devote so much of myself to what I love because it’s so exciting to grow and change and stop and start again. I no longer look upon this as a failure. I see this process for what it is, and I accept it. Maybe I’m letting myself off the hook a bit too much? Possibly. But I can’t revisit something I no longer have passion for. How can you do this? If someone knows how, please tell me because I think I have been secretly trying to find a way to do this my entire life, not just with writing but with many things I’ve turned away from for one reason or another.

Just look how far you have come… and smile.

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“Someone just logged into your Pinterest Account, if it wasn’t you”…

I get emails like this every now and then. I would say most people get emails like this, perhaps more than every now and then but this is the first time I’ve had someone try to hack into my unused Pinterest account.

My other blog (where I am no longer active) is an Online Security blog aimed at every day people who are security conscious. I haven’t blogged there in a while because I kind of lost interest after some crap that happened last year yadda yadda yadda and here we are. So internet security, online safety, these are topics that used to be quite close to my heart. For those of you that don’t already know, I work in the IT field for a large service provider in my country so yeah, I’m a bit of a (proud) computer nerd 🤓

Everything’s fine with the Pinterest account, I just logged into it and changed the password and added 2FA so it should be sweet. It pays to be diligent even with unused accounts – particularly with unused accounts because you often forget about them and usually, neglect them which makes them easier targets for hackers.

Today’s announcement is brought to you by the number 2 and the letters F and A 😅

The Strength of Luke Skywalker

This post idea came to me as I was updating my Tumblr account and noticed a GIF set taken from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. I suddenly became so aware of Luke’s suffering and strength in this one particular scene. If you haven’t seen Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back, please leave my blog RIGHT now and go watch it – no, seriously! It is one of my favourite Star Wars movies for many reasons but for this post, I’d like to focus on something that I’ve been arguing ever since the writers decided to turn Luke into a crazy old Hermit in The Force Awakens.

In this scene, we see a battered, weary, suffering Luke Skywalker who has faced quite possibly the worst thing in the universe you could face as a protagonist. Your very own father is literally the embodiment of all that is evil, and you’ve just faced him in an epic duel and lost monumentally. If that weren’t enough, you’ve also lost your hand, the support of your friends is half a galaxy away and you’re really at the lowest possible place both physically and psychologically. Just look at Luke’s expression. He’s just done and I mean done.

 

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Via tattoineknights.tumblr.com

 

Now consider this is the same man that becomes Luke Skywalker in The Force Awakens. People who find themselves in this situation in their lives usually never recover. Some choose to give in altogether because all is lost. And who could blame them? Luke Skywalker however, takes that fear, hurt and pain to a different place and calls on his strength in the Force to save him. Is this the action of a beaten, downtrodden man who is running and hiding from his fears?

If that isn’t enough of an argument, not only does Luke recover but he eventually becomes a Jedi Knight like he promised he would. He completes his training with Grand Master Yoda and faces his father one last time in the epic Original Trilogy finale, Return of the Jedi. In the final moments, Luke refuses to give into the dark side (no small feat), forgives his father and allows Darth Vader to truly fulfil his destiny as The Chosen One and come back to the light as Jedi Anakin Skywalker once more.

 

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Via tattoineknights.tumblr.com

 

And this is why I will never agree with how the writers took the essence of everything Luke represented in the Star Wars universe and kinda spat on it. Maybe he was redeemed at the end (well, that is what some of my friends think) and the way he passed on was beautiful and all that. But it still doesn’t excuse how he was dragged through the mud first.

 

To write is to heal…

I started an “edit a day”, but then I decided that I what I really wanted to do was mix writing in with my art and photoshop tutorial reviews, and I feel pleased about that. I actually feel a lot happier than I’ve felt in a long time on a creative level. But I am going to use some of my time to write about my feelings because while I might write poetry and attempt to write short stories, almost all of it is based on fiction. As I mentioned in an earlier post, a lot of what I write mixes both fantasy and reality. I like to write this way because I find it a lot easier. I don’t know why I just do. I also need to vent since I’ve stopped blogging about work, it’s quite surprising how feelings can get really pent up inside when you’re not expressing them.

I never really use a lot of my writing time to actually write about what makes me the writer that I am or what burns deeply in my soul or what keeps me up at night. I am going to try and do this more often, but for now, I think I’ll write about my emotions whenever I feel the need and go from there.

WORDS7.pngThis topic was going to be part of a separate post, but I realised it’s something that really grinds my gears so I’m going to mention it briefly and then move on. So, bloggers who like to say “do this” or “do that, and if you follow in my footsteps, you’ll be just as successful”. I have a problem with these types of posts, and that is that I’ve tested this and found that this blogger didn’t live up to what they blogged about to their readers. So if you are the type of blogger that likes to dish out advice wrapped up in lies to gain followers, shame on you!

Okay, now that’s out of the way…

While reading about how to write flash fiction, I also came across multiple sites for writing six-word stories I think they’re called? The object obviously to write a story in six words. I’ve read some pretty amazing ones and some funny and weird ones too. So I might start doing one of these every now and then, again with the intent to challenge myself and improve.

 

 

The Best

I wouldn’t call this “Flash fiction” but it came at me as I was reading about writing flash fiction so I decided to post it.

You told me I was the best. You said this to me many times. You told me I could compete against bigger, tougher opponents. You made me think that you cared. So when I said I wasn’t ready, what did you do? You told me to get the hell out and go home because you only wanted winners in your team.

Thank You, Dad.

Flowers for Algernon – get the tissues ready fam!

I am making a quick update because I have run into some technical issus with my Authy 2FA application on my phone. This has caused several problems because for some reason the account hasn’t synced correctly since the 23rd of June. But anyyywayyy, you probably don’t really care much about 2FA 😂

I have made some progress on the Flash Fiction side of things – not much, but some. I am still reading about how to write flash fiction but it seems to me that every article I read seems to say the same thing which is basically write, then edit and cut everything down as much as possible and then edit again. Great. A lot of editing involved, no real clue as to what is good technique. I am seeing fiction for all sorts of things, all sorts of word counts as well.

I also decided to read really quickly Flowers for Algernon. This was not on my list, I read it today when a friend told me that “this story will screw you up”… let me say that WHO in their right mind could write a story so sad and depressing and just… ugh. I am not saying the writing is bad, quite the opposite. I haven’t felt that depressed about a book in some time. If you want something to make you feel hopeful and then drop you off the side of a bridge, read Flowers for Algernon… that should deliver nicely.

Here’s a link and it’s virus free if you want to read it. I may write a review for it possibly because its so good.

 

I have discovered Flash Fiction!

I don’t consider myself behind with the times, in fact, I actually think of myself as entirely up to date with the trends, or at least I thought I was. But after reading about Flash Fiction and being introduced to it by one of my readers’ Emily, I am absolutely in awe of this creation. Why did I not find out about this sooner? I just don’t know, it’s definitely something I am interested in because as I mentioned in previous posts, I don’t see myself ever writing a novel. Maybe saying that is putting the thought in my head that I could never write a book, and well, I am really okay with that. But Flash Fiction is something that could definitely work for me.

I feel so excited about this new thing, but at the same time, I am trying to curb my excitement a bit because of that whole “eyes too big for my stomach” thing I blogged about… I don’t want to take on more than I can commit to or physically do. I’ve talked about a lot of “projects” before that never saw the light of day – I even seriously considered Wattpad as a place for my fiction writing to live (other than here, of course). But I created a profile, and for two weeks, I stared blankly at my profile page without typing a single word. I did the same thing at AO3 with the sincerest of goals to release my hidden Star Wars fan fiction ideas on the world and just didn’t. I’ve thought about why I do this, and I honestly think that’s something for another post because… Flash Fiction!

I’m going to do a little more reading, I think before I start or write anything or label anything “flash fiction”. I already have ideas, and today, I spent a day off work looking after my Mum, and during the time when she was sleeping, I came up with at least three different ideas for fiction that I could really enjoy writing. So ideas are not the problem. I suspect fear is, yet again, the boogeyman under my fingertips, stopping me from doing anything with my writing.

It’s something new, I know, but I think I could actually do this. A new adventure lies ahead!

To be continued…