I just want to know if anyone else thinks that this particular work “thing” I’m annoyed about is a valid reason to feel annoyed.

During this work process (restructure) we were told by management that reliability and punctuality were not important enough to the business to consider as factors when choosing who would get let go.

Am I living in a nightmare? Are my values no longer considered important by businesses today? I am one of those people who is never late and hardly ever sick. I learned that to do these things to your team and the wider business is disrespectful. For me, it basically means you don’t care enough about how your absenteeism impacts your workmates. And that’s wrong. If you don’t give a toss about the job, why are you there? I liked my job. I liked coming to work. These things did not apply to me. Yet, there are some people in the team who were taking so much sick leave they were in the negatives for leave allowance. And they are valued more than someone like me that never did those things.

Is this a valid reason to feel annoyed? I just don’t know any more. One thing I’m very sure of though is that I no longer feel like I want to be here. That feeling has gone. Now I guess I’m just like everyone else, the “status quo”… someone who just doesn’t give af. And that’s just sad ☹

Advertisements

I feel so disconnected, I feel alienated, I feel weary and redundant

I want to scream but I don’t

I want to throw in the towel and let my father’s disapproval wash over me like rain

I want to cry but I’m too tired to even do that. This is an admission I am happy to make

So I can let it all go and get up and do the same thing all over again

So this new team I am in has three people in it so far. The staff that were doing the digital tech-related emails have just stopped doing them altogether. This means that we are now becoming overwhelmed by the amount of work in this queue.

Today, I was the only one who showed up for work. I’ve been working on this queue all day and I’ve barely scratched the surface. For every email I do, three more come in. This is beyond stupid.

I cannot wait to turn my back on this place the same way it turned its back on me.

I haven’t really shared much about my home life but my situation is that I have a disabled parent that I do my best to look after. I’ve been looking after her most of my life starting when I was 17 and had to drop out of school. This was a huge deal. I had plans as most 17 year olds do but not one of them could be pursued. I don’t blame anyone because this is the life I have lived. I might blame my useless sibling who left the country because he didn’t want to deal with my mother’s disabilities. Actually, I blame him a lot.

But yesterday a lady from an organisation that supports people like me who need it is going to make my mother’s life a whole lot better and in turn, mine as well.

So I want to give thanks to the unsung heroes of our communities who are there when you need them. They never ask for anything in return and their support can mean so much. Being selfless is one of the best things a person can be and I am a better person for having met someone like this. Now I feel a lot better about the future and a lot happier that my Mum now has the support I just couldn’t give her. The lady in question told me that “it’s not always easy to ask for help but even people like you who are caring and responsible need a little help sometimes”. And I’m getting a little teary-eyed writing this so I’ll leave it there.