I’ve got some (writing related) news!

Some time ago, I approached a website which was looking for writers to see if they’d take me on writing for the Star Wars segment of their (much bigger) fan portal. They were keen to have me, but the timing just didn’t work out, and unexpected events put that opportunity on the back burner. I was also in a place where I wasn’t really as focused as I should have been on getting back into writing and being creative again the way I am now.

I recently sent my new application back to them, and their editors are keen to have me (for the second time!) I’ve just confirmed that I’ll be happy to take on the contributor’s role which is also a paid writing opportunity. It’s not at all something that I can walk away from my day job for, but it’s a step in the right direction to getting back on track and where I want to be creatively.

I’ve realised through all the creativity I’ve been experiencing lately that what’s in my heart is what matters and I have to do what I can to follow that path and be as true to myself as I can.

I’ve also signed up for another part-time freelancing role doing transcripts and hopefully (fingers crossed) data analysis for social media, which I think I’ll be really good at. I’m waiting to hear back from them, but that’s also going to be a paid gig and another step in the right direction.

I may be going in little steps, but I feel excellent about it all. And the best part of all of this is that I’m writing my short story, fan-fic or whatever it is and really enjoying myself which is why I haven’t had any updates here. I’m writing, and that’s the main thing, that’s all that’s important right now.

As for my foray into graphic design, I think I can go further, and I still have the dream of combining my love for art and skill in photoshop with writing, but for now, writing has to be the priority with the plan to eventually freelance again.

One step at a time, one step at a time 😁

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To write is to heal…

I started an “edit a day”, but then I decided that I what I really wanted to do was mix writing in with my art and photoshop tutorial reviews, and I feel pleased about that. I actually feel a lot happier than I’ve felt in a long time on a creative level. But I am going to use some of my time to write about my feelings because while I might write poetry and attempt to write short stories, almost all of it is based on fiction. As I mentioned in an earlier post, a lot of what I write mixes both fantasy and reality. I like to write this way because I find it a lot easier. I don’t know why I just do. I also need to vent since I’ve stopped blogging about work, it’s quite surprising how feelings can get really pent up inside when you’re not expressing them.

I never really use a lot of my writing time to actually write about what makes me the writer that I am or what burns deeply in my soul or what keeps me up at night. I am going to try and do this more often, but for now, I think I’ll write about my emotions whenever I feel the need and go from there.

WORDS7.pngThis topic was going to be part of a separate post, but I realised it’s something that really grinds my gears so I’m going to mention it briefly and then move on. So, bloggers who like to say “do this” or “do that, and if you follow in my footsteps, you’ll be just as successful”. I have a problem with these types of posts, and that is that I’ve tested this and found that this blogger didn’t live up to what they blogged about to their readers. So if you are the type of blogger that likes to dish out advice wrapped up in lies to gain followers, shame on you!

Okay, now that’s out of the way…

While reading about how to write flash fiction, I also came across multiple sites for writing six-word stories I think they’re called? The object obviously to write a story in six words. I’ve read some pretty amazing ones and some funny and weird ones too. So I might start doing one of these every now and then, again with the intent to challenge myself and improve.

 

 

I have discovered Flash Fiction!

I don’t consider myself behind with the times, in fact, I actually think of myself as entirely up to date with the trends, or at least I thought I was. But after reading about Flash Fiction and being introduced to it by one of my readers’ Emily, I am absolutely in awe of this creation. Why did I not find out about this sooner? I just don’t know, it’s definitely something I am interested in because as I mentioned in previous posts, I don’t see myself ever writing a novel. Maybe saying that is putting the thought in my head that I could never write a book, and well, I am really okay with that. But Flash Fiction is something that could definitely work for me.

I feel so excited about this new thing, but at the same time, I am trying to curb my excitement a bit because of that whole “eyes too big for my stomach” thing I blogged about… I don’t want to take on more than I can commit to or physically do. I’ve talked about a lot of “projects” before that never saw the light of day – I even seriously considered Wattpad as a place for my fiction writing to live (other than here, of course). But I created a profile, and for two weeks, I stared blankly at my profile page without typing a single word. I did the same thing at AO3 with the sincerest of goals to release my hidden Star Wars fan fiction ideas on the world and just didn’t. I’ve thought about why I do this, and I honestly think that’s something for another post because… Flash Fiction!

I’m going to do a little more reading, I think before I start or write anything or label anything “flash fiction”. I already have ideas, and today, I spent a day off work looking after my Mum, and during the time when she was sleeping, I came up with at least three different ideas for fiction that I could really enjoy writing. So ideas are not the problem. I suspect fear is, yet again, the boogeyman under my fingertips, stopping me from doing anything with my writing.

It’s something new, I know, but I think I could actually do this. A new adventure lies ahead!

To be continued…

How to discipline my lack of discipline in writing

I’ve started many projects on this website and failed, too. I have been reading about writing challenges and how NOT to overwhelm yourself with goals that are, shall we say, industrious. My problem has always been “eyes too big for my stomach” – this may sound funny, but for me, it’s an actual thing. People closest to me think it’s cute (well, I hope they do!) but it’s a habit that I seem to have with almost everything I want or try to do, and not just with eating. I always end up biting off more than I can chew. This is not cute, this is annoying, well, sometimes. And it’s the best way to set yourself up for failure.

So this time, I want to try and approach writing prompts again, but with challenges in mind, so I don’t have to make them up as I go. I tried doing this with creative writing prompts, but I became disheartened because nobody commented on my words, and I felt I wasn’t reaching my audience. I think this is all part of being a writer and growing as a writer, but it’s the not-so-nice side to writing online. If you say that you’re only writing for yourself, you’re probably not being 100 per cent honest, and if that’s the case, unless you’re a fiction writer, you should perhaps consider another interest. I don’t mean this to sound harsh, but sometimes, you have to face hard realities, right? Being real is what it’s all about. When I write, I try to discover things about myself every time. This, to me, is the essence of writing and why I chose to write in the first place.

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Some ideas for writing future posts:

  1. Taking a random song from an artist I like and writing about the song – what it makes me feel, what I think the song is about etc
  2. Taking random creative writing prompts from online websites – this worked for a bit when I first tried it, but I’m willing to give it another go and hopefully, improve and gather interest 🙂
  3. Taking prompts from Pinterest – there are many creative blogs on Pinterest, and some of them are set up just for writers and writing prompts
  4. Visiting favourite blogs or websites I like and taking ideas from posts I read (I’ve done this before, and I think it works really well)
  5. Writing about a different emotion every week (so not a daily challenge)
  6. Writing about random poems and writing about what I think the poet is trying to convey
  7. Writing a book or movie review

I think the best thing about this list is that I can add to it whenever I want if I find other things to write about.

Looking at this list, I am already beginning to feel a little uncomfortable because some of these ideas will be stretching my skill as a writer. And now I know I have no choice but to do this and push beyond my comfort zone like I mentioned in this post.

I wish myself the best of luck 😁😂

 

What’s your ugly?

I was thinking about this the other day, carrying on from my previous post about fear. While I wouldn’t call fear “ugly”, it’s certainly close to something we don’t want in our lives. Although I would argue that some people enjoy feeling certain types of fear. And without fear, we would never be able to challenge ourselves and push outside our comfort zones. Without fear, we could never grow.

So with that in mind, I guess fear isn’t entirely something we want to hide or suppress unless it causes us harm. But what about the other uglier sides to your personality? Everyone has them, at least one trait they wished they didn’t have. For some people, it’s being too overbearing or controlling. For others, it might be jealousy or pride.

It’s not easy to write about this. Nobody really wants their uglier sides to be known. But without acknowledging the part or parts of ourselves that we don’t like, we are not entirely whole. You could also say that for every ugly trait, there are five good ones so it balances out.

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My uglier trait is being selfish. I am, at times, a very selfish person. And I hate this about myself. It’s something I’ve tried to deny. It’s something that I’ve thought about in great depth. It’s something that I try to work on. And I even remember feeling this way as a child, so it’s something that has been with me a very long time. And I don’t know why or how it became my ugliness. Perhaps its something that grew inside me as a coping or survival mechanism. I just don’t know where it came from.

Do you have that one thing you just don’t like about yourself? I think the sooner you can acknowledge it and bring it into the light, the sooner you can learn to improve and become a better person.

So, what’s your ugly?

What could I write about today that my future self would benefit from reading?

This post is based on an idea I borrowed from another blog. I thought it was on Medium, but when I search for the article, a different one comes up in my search results. I wanted to credit the writer for giving me this idea as it’s a great one.

I don’t think I could make this a habit, but I think it would be fun to do every now and then. And there is something I really want to mention which is number one on my list:

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Background Credit Pixabay See Below

Today, I felt the fear of failure creeping up on me once again. I literally felt it come over me like it was something awful living inside that I had to hide from the rest of the world. When fear is something you can quantify, that’s not good because it means that some how you have made it into something more tangible, something more real. Fear is the killer of dreams. Fear chokes you until all the air is gone and all that’s left of you is a husk. I have felt different types of fear in my life, but the fear of failure always leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. It’s very distinctive. That’s how I can identify it.

But that isn’t where it ends because today, I pushed it back, all the way back to the dark, sad, lonely place it came from. And I felt elated.

Credit for the pretty floral watercolour background

Something with my writing

It seems I’m always trying to discipline myself into better habits. This is even more so with my writing. The problem is that most of the time my inspiration can come from just about anywhere, and it’s not always appropriate to whip out my phone and note something down or write something down on paper (I still do this sometimes!). This bugs me to no end. And when I manage to catch that “wave” of new inspiration, I’m either drowning in it and completely overwhelmed or barely getting my feet wet. Sometimes I feel like I just want to write, it might not make sense, it’s just my thoughts that come together and might amount to something great or nothing at all. But the words deserve to live beyond the life I give them. And if I don’t take these chances and write, I start to feel like I’m letting myself down.

Does anyone else feel like this with their writing? An example is when I am at work, for instance, there could be 10 different things I want to say all at once because something has triggered me or inspired me or enlightened me. But I can’t because I’m at work and I already feel like everyone is watching what I do. And herein lies the problem. I feel like my creative self is trying to tell me something. I am actually experiencing one of the most creative periods of my life right now – I’m writing almost every day, I’m creating things in photoshop, I’m learning new skills. This is an excellent time for me to spread my creative “wings”. Yet, I still feel like an under-achiever, like the kid who always strived to get an A but had to settle for B+. I don’t want to be that person.

WORDS1.pngI’m also not the kind of writer that has the end goal of publishing a book. I’ve never really wanted to write a book. I like to write short stories, but I’ve never aspired to be an author of a book. I completely understand why a lot of writers do strive to achieve this goal, and it’s a very worthy goal. There is everything right with wanting to write like the authors you’ve grown up with. Yet somehow, I feel like maybe I should feel this way about writing, and I should consider writing a book or even self-publishing. But it’s not really in my heart.

I feel really strange right now. I don’t know what I really want to say, I’m just letting my fingers tap along on the keyboard. There is one thing that I am going to do this weekend though, and that is to connect an old hard drive I stored away that has all of my early poetry on it. I don’t know why I didn’t copy it over to my new disk, I think I just forgot to. But I think I’m inspired enough to write poetry again. Don’t know if I am gutsy enough to reveal any of it here, but I just want to sit with it for a while and see where it takes me.