Yesterday, I had a star wars micro meltdown

I don’t know if it was just the overwhelming day I had with all the star wars stuff and my over-excitement that caused it but I ended up on my bed after work crying uncontrollably. Today I am not at work, as you can probably guess. So the whole deal with star wars (if you haven’t already read about this) is my dad got me into star wars when I was a kid and I have never looked back. It was one of his passions and then became mine. So my link to the whole skywalker saga is a direct link to my dad. In my head, that is how I see it and in my heart, how I feel about it. So to admit that the whole saga is now coming to an end was a little too much for me, I think.

Even writing this I feel sad and I have tears. Yep, a grown woman crying about a fictional universe – pretty pathetic, right? I know there are other reasons which I’ll blog about on my writing blog becuase it relates directly to that. But I feel very alone and lost right now. And I miss my dad something awful…

Some blog upkeeping for Darksider Confessions

Today I decided that I will be moving the topic of writing and all that entails to a new blog. It’s still with wordpress but I will be separating my writing posts from everything else I do here. Darkside Creative will still be home to all my other creative endeavours such as graphic design, Adobe, and of course, everything relating to Star Wars.

I just feel that this blog really has grown into something more than I expected and in doing so, it has moved slowly away from my first passion which is writing. I haven’t been able to do much with my writing here because I wanted this space to house my Star Wars experiences and everything I do with art. I just don’t think writing has a place here any more.

So if you wish to follow my writing blog, you can do so here – www.thebrokenquill.com.

That’s all I really have to say about that. I’ll understand if you unfollow me.

I have a whole heap of Star Wars edits and graphics to post which I’ll do bit by bit starting tomorrow.

Do you have a personal mantra that you try to follow?

I blogged about having a personal “mantra” last month as part of a discussion I was actually having with myself on what I want to do and where I want to go in my life.

No joke, those questions are probably some of the hardest questions I’ve ever had to answer, and I don’t think I’ve been able to answer them yet – I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to really. I have a rough idea of what I want to do, but it hasn’t been an easy road, and it’ll only get more challenging before I’m in a place where I will feel good about myself.

As I was reading, I came across the above phrase, which was actually pretty close to what I think I was trying to express. Although, if you had asked me that same question six years ago, I would have had a very different answer.

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Is’nt it funny how time can change your entire perspective on life and even your own opinion of yourself and your values. I know mine have taken a drastic turn. I am usually the type of person that had never doubted where I was going or what I was going to do when I got there. Today, I am not as confident of either of those things.

What about you? Have you ever had an experience in your life so profound that it changed your outlook or your views on life entirely? I suppose that sounds kind of dramatic, but it really isn’t. I don’t believe you can really go through life without hitting significant obstacles in the road. Have you ever had one of these and if so, what did you do to get over that obstacle? Do you live by a specific “code” or mantra or something similar that you aspire to?

I’ve been thinking about this website and the reason I started it in the first place. And I see this website as a canvas of sorts, an artwork that is ever-changing and evolving as I do. That said, there is a part of me that is holding onto the writer within, the teenager that wrote and wrote until her hand went numb, the freelance journalist that never thought she could get a byline and that person is waiting for a chance to shine again.

So along with my other creative endeavours, I want to write more. I need to feed that monster clawing under my skin.

RIP – Peter Mayhew, Forever Chewbacca

I’ve seen a lot of news websites posting about Peter Mayhew and I didn’t really want to make a post about his passing because I felt that so many websites were using the news as click bait. And they do this without a single thought because it’s news. But Peter Mayhew was the original Chewbacca and will always be “the” Chewbacca for me. Having grown up with the OT, I never really ever thought he would get replaced or needed to be replaced as the Mighty Chewbacca. That’s not to say that the new actor is bad or not as good or anything like that, he seems to be taking the role to a good place as well. But it’s kind of like saying that (as an example) they could easily replace Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy because they just can’t. She’ll always be the only “Buffy” for me as Peter Mayhew will always be the only Chewbacca. Does that make sense? I hope so.

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Image via Google

I’d like to wish Peter’s family and friends my deepest condolences. Peter brought so much to his role as Chewbacca and has made such a deep and lasting impact on so many lives as a result.

May he rest in peace, The Mighty Chewbacca, Peter Mayhew 1944 – 2019

Protected: It’s my birthday, and I’ll cry if I want to…

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Right now…

Right now I feel like standing up and yelling at the top of my voice. I want to walk towards the door and never come back to this awful place. I have absolutely no reason to want to be here anymore. Anything good that I felt for this place died some time ago. I’m only here because my pride and my stubbornness refuse to let me leave.

I got “told” that we might be restructuring again

And the team will be whittled down even further. But here’s the thing, we are hiring two new people, so why would we be restructuring again? The TL said not to worry because it “might” not happen.

It’s made me feel nervous all over again 😥