I was thinking about this the other day, carrying on from my previous post about fear. While I wouldn’t call fear “ugly”, it’s certainly close to something we don’t want in our lives. Although I would argue that some people enjoy feeling certain types of fear. And without fear, we would never be able to challenge ourselves and push outside our comfort zones. Without fear, we could never grow.
So with that in mind, I guess fear isn’t entirely something we want to hide or suppress unless it causes us harm. But what about the other uglier sides to your personality? Everyone has them, at least one trait they wished they didn’t have. For some people, it’s being too overbearing or controlling. For others, it might be jealousy or pride.
It’s not easy to write about this. Nobody really wants their uglier sides to be known. But without acknowledging the part or parts of ourselves that we don’t like, we are not entirely whole. You could also say that for every ugly trait, there are five good ones so it balances out.
My uglier trait is being selfish. I am, at times, a very selfish person. And I hate this about myself. It’s something I’ve tried to deny. It’s something that I’ve thought about in great depth. It’s something that I try to work on. And I even remember feeling this way as a child, so it’s something that has been with me a very long time. And I don’t know why or how it became my ugliness. Perhaps its something that grew inside me as a coping or survival mechanism. I just don’t know where it came from.
Do you have that one thing you just don’t like about yourself? I think the sooner you can acknowledge it and bring it into the light, the sooner you can learn to improve and become a better person.
So, what’s your ugly?